22 July 2013

Weekly Wishes #6

Well I failed miserably at last week's challenge. Well not miserably, I did get to the pool once and I put the lack of swimage down to being so busy, which is always a good excuse if it's designing I'm busy with! Got another design to do this week, but I'm determined to get the swimming in to my routine. Now for this week's wish, I did feel a bit anxious about hitting the publish button on this one, so stay with me.
So today I'm feeling like my positivity has taken a kick in the face. I don't whether I'm just tired from the travelling and wedding at the weekend or something else is the culprit of my negativity today. Let's hope it's tiredness as I really can't be bothered with the other thing. I don't know why I'm being so vague about it, sharing the story might be a bit therapeutic and possibly help others with a eureka moment.
Long story short I've been on the pill since I was 18. I had a brief stint off it where I can remember feeling happier and more positive, even with the stress of university, but never really put it down to the pill. Going back on it was a must so I did and over the past 6 and a bit years I felt a dip in my mood, some days a big dip. Three months ago I did some research in to depression and found a lot of articles by women who were saying that since coming off the pill they've been happier, more energetic and clear. One of things I kept saying to Peter was that my brain felt foggy sometimes and I would sit staring in to space thinking of nothing, like someone had hit the off button. We talked about it and I decided to do an experiment. I stopped taking my pill and low and behold my mood changed. My head felt clearer, I felt more energetic, I wasn't getting down about things or easily agitated and annoyed.

However, I knew that I had to do something for both our piece of mind so phase two of the experiment needed activation. I spoke to a really nice nurse who did something the nurse all those years ago never did - told me every single option I had and also told me I wasn't crazy. She made me feel so at ease about the whole thing and gave me another pill to try. I've never felt like I had the support of my GP or any other FP nurse and this woman put my faith back in the system a bit. 
Today I feel the same as before, my brain is foggy and I'm totally void of any motivation. So, it's a bit deeper than usual, but my weekly wish is to figure it out. I know it may take longer than a week, but I need to keep an eye on this. It could very well be tiredness from my crazy dancing antics at the wedding, but I'm paranoid my moodiness will return. I know if it does it's a quick fix, just change again or take another road all together, but it's the people in the crossfire of my experiment, the ones I affect with my mood and annoyance, that I'm worried about.

Anyhoo, to lighten things up a bit I also have another weekly wish, to catch up on all the Comic Con and Nerd HQ panels I missed over the weekend, that should bring me plenty of laughs :D

Want to link up with your Weekly Wishes? Join in over at The Nectar Collective.

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